Sunday, August 21, 2011

A special friend...

Friendship can have no definition or no set of rules... You just happen to make friends and connect to certain people.

Today I will tell you all about one of my special friends. I met her in India when I shifted to a new apartment after marriage. I had asked the society watchman to send someone for househelp.She came like a normal househelp, her salary was fixed and her daily chores were identified. We started chatting, though the 1 hour she was in my house, was the busiest hour of the day! 'Getting ready for office'. But still we managed to strike a conversation daily and it was mostly she sharing her daily challenges of in-laws, monetary aspect, kids and a lot of things. But I made it sure I had sometime to talk to her, as she told she feels good to share her thoughts with me. Like she said she doesn’t have friends.

She was married off at 15 and became a mother at 16. And when I was celebrating my 1st anniversary at 25, she was celebrating her 10th! She had to manage a household of 10 morons who had thought that they were marrying off their son to get a full-time househelp, who was bound to do everything they asked!.

I used to feel very connected to her and tried my best to help her in ways that was possible. But she herself was one strong lady! What made her special was that she never sought sympathy, she was strong and wanted to be independent and the most important, wanted her kids to have a good education so that they don't face her challenges.
She fought with her in laws and started earning so that she could send her kids to an english medium school. She used to bring her kids to my place and sometimes i used to talk to them over phone, giving those advices which I would have given to my own children, especially on studies and career.
Her braveness doesn't end, she convinced her husband to move out of her in-laws house into there own small one, so that whatever time she had after working as a househelp, she could spend that with her kids, instead of working again for a big family of inconsiderate 10 people!

I always used to feel that its unfair. Me at 25 was just married, staying alone with hubby, roaming around, have a job and the other normal aspects. But she, whenever she used to share her feelings, never once compared, or said that its unfair! Just that she would not want her daughter to be in the same shoes as hers.

When I was moving from that apartment and shifting abroad, I got nostalgic and started remembering a lot of people and things I would miss on a daily basis. And she was one. There was not one day that I would open the door in the morning and she wouldn't greet me with a smile. She used to scold me like my mom, if I would not eat the chapatis she made. She would make me some sweet dish like a friend as treat for my birthday :)

I called her after reaching netherlands but I couldn't reach the number she had given. I was very upset, but after a month I got to speak to her. And I was so happy that day that I mentioned this to my colleagues. And everyone found it strange that I was making international calls to talk to my househelp back in india! So I ask everyone today, why is it so difficult for people to accept someone's friend who is not from the same background. But I proudly call her my friend and dedicate this post to one of the strongest women I have ever come met :) And I thank the Almighty, to make my journey of life full of so many experiences and so many special friends. I learnt something from each one of them!


Varun said...

What's her name?

Venus said...

She was S, let her be anonymous in my anonymous blog :)